(If you can get through this rant, there are pictures at the bottom. Scroll down if you want, skip the rant altogether! I'm ok with that!!)
This week has been the week from hell. I am failing as a parent. There I said it. I. AM. FAILING. AS. A. PARENT. My children are smart, of the four I still have at home, two are gifted, one has math smarts that I can't even begin to fathom, and the last one has a work ethic that blows my mind!!!! However, they are ALL getting one or more D's. The schools all have a thing called PowerSchool. Which means both the parent and child can check grades at any time. We told the children at the beginning of the school year that Thursdays would be grade checking day. The grades on thursdays determine allowance for the next week and whether or not football games, sleepovers, etc. would be happening for the weekend, and whether or not they have phones for the week.
Pretty straight forward right? Apparently, every thursday grades are a shock to my children!! Why? I don't know? They spend HOURS on the internet at school, however, checking grades and doing homework is not on the menu!! They don't freakin' care!! It's my fault, it's the teachers fault, they forgot! They have ONE chore each and no tv/wii during the week. Yes, they all have a sport they play but, seriously???!!! I am going out of my head worring about their grades and they are surprised each week???!!! Do they forget they didn't turn in homework or just didn't do it at all? why don't they care? Other parents have children that care!
What am I doing wrong? I lay out very clear guidelines, I make sure they have a place to study, I don't make them work or make them pay for any extracurricular activities (I know parents that do). I am at their activites (as much as I can, I mean there are four of them all doing something!) I go without so they don't have to and yet.......they are surprised on thursdays.
My son is spending his days glaring at me now because he doesn't have his phone and colorguard activities have been suspended. Why? Because the kid has had TEN years of bilingual education and is writer and has a 64% in Spanish Lit. Why? Doesn't know. And I am the bad guy. I get glares and nasty looks. We even told him last week, your grade is going down, you can perform tonight but you have the weekend to show us you want to perform at Tuesdays competition. That means do some studing, do your chores, no attitude. Did he? Nope, watched tv, had to be reminded to do his chore, and when I asked him to do his chore, he freaking ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME!!!! Again, I am the bad guy.
My stomach hurts, my kids hate me, and are going to be flipping burgers for the rest of their lives because their grades suck, and the only two that seem to care is Honey and I. They are all angry with us now, because grades are so bad (in required for graduation courses - yea! He even tweeted that it is the teachers fault because he missed a test and the teacher wouldn't let him make it up. Here's the thing though, he was told that he could NOT miss that class and he did anyway. Why? We think because his father came to take him to breakfast. Yup, during the week, during school, and when said child was told no, he went anyway. Again, not his fault, right? I am being totally unreasonable, right?) that no one is going to team things, no one has phones, and lucky me they will all be home this weekend!
I don't know what to do. How do I help them? Sorry for the long rant. I am at the end of my rope. I love my children. But right now I don't like them very much.
SO, after all that I thought I would show you all a little project I did. I took this photo of a friend of mine and turned it...
into this, an Avatar poster. A little rough but I am pretty proud of it. Done using CS4.
The original poster.
Yeah, I will probably just stick to taking pictures!!! :)
Yeah, I will probably just stick to taking pictures!!! :)
That sounds so frustrating with your kid's grades. I don't know how I'll handle that age-range let alone those issues.
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath!
I so remember all that frustration and hurt! What I learned from it all was consistency is the key. Do you have the backup of the kid's father? I'm just wondering if he knows how bad the situation really is, or did he just go against your wishes that you son not go to breakfast? Hang in there and sooner or later, he will figure it out that you are not going to back down on the rules...no decent grades, no activities. Period. I feel for ya sweetie!
ReplyDeleteNo advice here. Just sympathy and fear for when I get to that stage. You're not a failure though. They have to take responsibility for themselves some of the time.
ReplyDeleteHugs! This is a really hard time. I have found, there is a term for what is happening, that I can't for the life of me remember at the moment, but it's from my teaching curriculum. Example, if you keep tipping a chair while sitting in it, you will tip over. If someone keeps you from tipping it too far, but you keep tipping it, you won't learn that chairs tip over. (yes, this is waaaaay simplified.) I had a different area I had to learn this in, but Mom and Dad finally said, oops, sorry, you blew it, now you take responsibility for it. It is a female dog to deal with, but you might discuss this with teacher, and Father type, this is what I am going to do. Then lay down the law for kiddo. Expect more eye rolls and negative tweets, but it's one of those 'tough love' situations... (And this advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, by the by) :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I like the Avatar-ing!
Cat
Oh I am sooo glad the school days are over here. It was much too strict in my day and I learned to ease off with my daughter and relax because let's face it, school isn't everything and sometimes the school's are a little over the top. But,I would never allow all of the extra stuff they may have going on and have as trinkets,gadgets and the like if things were going awry. I'd have a talk with them. I would not go into detail but be short, brief and to the point. Tell them what is expected, what is required and that's it. I hope it all works out for you. Too much talking sometimes muddles the issue, so I'd be firm. Try to have a good weekend. They will have to bear some responsibility. Sometimes it's a tough lesson.
ReplyDelete